Rituals That Keep You Grounded

Image by wanderinghome via Flickr

At the core of most belief systems are a main set of rituals or acts that the group performs either together or on their own as part of their celebration of faith.  Though not a religious act, I have a few rituals that I enjoy and that sometimes stand in the way of moving forward or being productive.

Cleaning My Room

Most mothers would love to hear this... unfortunately my mother knows the real source of this one.  I can't work in my room if it is dirty.  Not even dirty in the sense of dust or dirt, but rather the clutter and chaos of being a college male.

I don't pretend to understand it really.  Perhaps it's something about the energy in the room but I find myself constantly cleaning up the room - putting things away, doing laundry, vacuuming, making the bed, etc. whenever I need to work here - generally on the weekends.

So the next time you need to buckle down and do some work... especially if you need to procrastinate a little longer... consider cleaning your room and doing your laundry!  It's good for at least a couple hours of time killing and the OCD voices in your head will be satisfied.

Ironing

Shocking, I know!  This might be a hold-over from the military academy thing (as most of these are...) but it's a really productive thing... right?  In all seriousness, there is something about making my dress clothes look THAT much better than they were when I took them out of the drier.  Sure, they're all wrinkle resistant dress shirts these days but that's nothing a little light starch and a good hot iron can't make look 100x better.

One late night of doing laundry sophomore or junior year in South Campus, a girl came up to me and complimented me on my folding skills as I was putting creases into my t-shirts as I folded them on the tables while they were still warm.  She worked at Banana Republic and was trying to get me to come work for them to fold stuff... I thought not. BUT! It did remind me that I take great pride in stuff like that.  At USAFA I had a near perfect record for my military inspections - one of the highest in my flight.

These days, though I do iron more dress clothes than I ever did before, the most relaxing moments are when I go through and heavy starch my CAP uniforms.  There are days when the BDU's (The camo uniforms) can stand up on their own when I'm done.  Razor sharp arm creases, stiff front and back panels - so good.

Polishing Shoes and Boots

How ironic is it that this is THE most zen ritual that I have?  It all started in high school when Civil Air Patrol met every Thursday night and sometimes on the weekends.  In the beginning, I would spend hours trying to get any sort of shine out of my boots but over the years I picked up tricks that got my shoes looking like glass.  Heading to USAFA, I was able to share this with my fellow classmates.

We would bond over late night polish parties.  These polish parties were some of the few times the upperclassmen would leave us alone - maybe that's where the big tie comes from.  These days, I don't have anyone else to shine shoes and boots with so it is a solitary thing that I do to refocus and clear my mind.  It's amazing how making tiny little circles with handkerchiefs and Kiwi polish can flush everything bad out of your head.

These are the rituals that bring me back to center, that relax me, that make me concentrate when I can't normally focus.  What sorts of things do you do to bring you back to center when everything else seems to be going crazy?

Lessons From a Weekend of Training Cadets

This past weekend, I spent my Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday out in the Blue Hills reservation just south of Boston, MA training the cadets of Boston Cadet Squadron.  These young adults are members of Civil Air Patrol, the volunteer organization that I have been a part of for eight years now.  Our goal for the weekend was to work as a single team while we trained in Emergency Services, survival, and overnight camping.  At least that had been the plan.

I have been instructing these same topics for a number of years now but of late, my lessons have focused on learning through my teaching.  Working with cadets that are from ages 12 to 18, I have found it a challenge for me to properly orient my instruction and leadership style to suit the varied needs of the cadets in our squadron.  Timing can be ironic - I'm currently a teaching assistant and candidate for Teach for America.  This means that I've been working in the "teaching" area for a while now and I am just starting to notice the issues that come along with being a teacher.

There are such varying levels of support needed by our cadets - everything from complete autonomy to complete and total supervision.  There are a few that I would trust to be out in the woods for weeks on end but others that I would prefer to have a physical leash to.  How does one cope with these situations?  How do I change behavior when I don't have the "full" story on cadet conditions, attitudes, and history?  Answer: you do your best and work as a team.

In order to make legitimate change with these cadets, I need to alter behavior.  Through my experience, I have found this to be a difficult task, though not impossible.  The United States Air Force Academy taught me many things about leadership and one of the most powerful tools we experienced was the power of peer accountability.  This is the idea that you are responsible for the actions of your teammate, and they are likewise responsible for yours. 

We are making changes in the way that we work within the group.  I am changing my role within the power structure.  We will go back to basics in order to obtain the correct temperment and attitudes.  We will remove priveledges such as talking, break times, and "fun" activities if need be.  We will provide structured rituals such as current event and news reviews, squaring of corners, and the buddy system.  Finally, we will delegate responsibility to the lowest level possible while enabling those levels to make good decisions.

Hopefully, these changes will create the environment necessary for proper learning to take place, for friendships to form, and leadership to flourish.  My goal for these kids is for them to develop into leaders with a sense of purpose, drive, and self respect that their peers in inner-city Boston do not have.  I want them to be constantly thinking about the group, not just themselves, I want them to work as a team.

If you have suggestions for making this process easier, please email me at james(dot)m(dot)connors(at)gmail(dot)com or leave a comment here for people to share.

[Edit: removed "children" from first paragraph 10.10.08]

The Gratitude Campaign

I wanted to take a few minutes to blog a really great organization that I’ve found. It’s called the Gratitude Campaign and the mission is simple - say thank you.  They have a very nice video that explains everything about it but let me share why I feel so strongly about this organization.

Some of you may know that I spent some time at the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado as an Active Duty Air Force cadet.  In that time I came to a new understanding of what it meant to love my country, to be proud of my job, and be willing to give it all up so that others may live in freedom.  I’m no longer affiliated with that institution, nor do I hold any current ties to the military.

However, I do have friends there.  I have friends in Colorado, Florida, Arizona, Kansas, and all of the other States.  I have other friends that are in the Middle East, or on a boat on an Ocean somewhere.  All of these friends are in the profession of arms, they are the professional fighting men and women that serve our country without asking for more than some shoes to wear and some food to eat.  I also know that they don’t get much more than that.

In the Vietnam era, our country was fighting a highly unpopular war.  The country was more or less in revolt about our involvement in that conflict and hated everything attached to it.  So it was no surprise when riots welcomed home soldiers returning from the fight of their lives, shouting their slogans and hatred at the men and women who had put their lives on the line to do as their country had asked them to.  This concept rocks me to my core.  I understand the politics around our current military engagement and I say forget about those details.  You don’t have to support the war, but I think you should support the men and women that are serving our country.  That doesn’t mean you have to go out and buy cell phones for every soldier or even offer to make a dinner for the family while the soldier is away.  It’s as easy as saying thank you.

I’ve found a simple thank you to be one of the most meaningful gestures that anyone has ever offered to me while I’ve been in uniform either for the Air Force or for the United States Air Force Auxiliary, Civil Air Patrol.  Immediately following the tragedies of 9.11, I can remember people opening doors, buying meals, and saying thank you for my service.  I felt embarrassed at the time because I didn’t think I deserved the thanks but they weren’t thinking of me, James Connors - it was the uniform, the soldiers they were thanking.  Now, six an a half years after that day, we’re starting to forget about those soldiers that are still away from their families and friends.  We’re forgetting about the men and women holed up in the sand.  We’re overlooking those people that are fighting for their lives in a battle to keep our country free from fear and terror.

So, this is what I ask: please go to the website, www.gratitudecampaign.org and watch the video.  Then, the next time you see those whom have been fighting for your rights and your freedom, give them the sign.  It doesn’t take words or grand gestures.  You don’t have to buy their lunch or write them letters.  Just give thanks in any way you can, as simple as a sign.

For more information about The Gratitude Campaign visit their website at www.gratitudecampaign.com.

The Gratitude Campaign

I wanted to take a few minutes to blog a really great organization that I've found. It's called the Gratitude Campaign and the mission is simple - say thank you.  They have a very nice video that explains everything about it but let me share why I feel so strongly about this organization. Some of you may know that I spent some time at the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado as an Active Duty Air Force cadet.  In that time I came to a new understanding of what it meant to love my country, to be proud of my job, and be willing to give it all up so that others may live in freedom.  I'm no longer affiliated with that institution, nor do I hold any current ties to the military.

However, I do have friends there.  I have friends in Colorado, Florida, Arizona, Kansas, and all of the other States.  I have other friends that are in the Middle East, or on a boat on an Ocean somewhere.  All of these friends are in the profession of arms, they are the professional fighting men and women that serve our country without asking for more than some shoes to wear and some food to eat.  I also know that they don't get much more than that.

In the Vietnam era, our country was fighting a highly unpopular war.  The country was more or less in revolt about our involvement in that conflict and hated everything attached to it.  So it was no surprise when riots welcomed home soldiers returning from the fight of their lives, shouting their slogans and hatred at the men and women who had put their lives on the line to do as their country had asked them to.  This concept rocks me to my core.  I understand the politics around our current military engagement and I say forget about those details.  You don't have to support the war, but I think you should support the men and women that are serving our country.  That doesn't mean you have to go out and buy cell phones for every soldier or even offer to make a dinner for the family while the soldier is away.  It's as easy as saying thank you.

I've found a simple thank you to be one of the most meaningful gestures that anyone has ever offered to me while I've been in uniform either for the Air Force or for the United States Air Force Auxiliary, Civil Air Patrol.  Immediately following the tragedies of 9.11, I can remember people opening doors, buying meals, and saying thank you for my service.  I felt embarrassed at the time because I didn't think I deserved the thanks but they weren't thinking of me, James Connors - it was the uniform, the soldiers they were thanking.  Now, six an a half years after that day, we're starting to forget about those soldiers that are still away from their families and friends.  We're forgetting about the men and women holed up in the sand.  We're overlooking those people that are fighting for their lives in a battle to keep our country free from fear and terror.

So, this is what I ask: please go to the website, www.gratitudecampaign.org and watch the video.  Then, the next time you see those whom have been fighting for your rights and your freedom, give them the sign.  It doesn't take words or grand gestures.  You don't have to buy their lunch or write them letters.  Just give thanks in any way you can, as simple as a sign.

For more information about The Gratitude Campaign visit their website at www.gratitudecampaign.com.