We Stand on The Brink

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It is officially the last week of my undergraduate education.  Shit.

The last time I was in a similar situation, e.g.  the last week of high school, I was looking out to this huge adventure that was laying before me.  No, that adventure wasn't the standard orientation, matriculation, and endless hours of waiting for elevators to move into your freshman dorm.  No, I was waiting to hop on a plane with nothing more than the clothes on my back, the strung around my neck, and the knowledge that I was about to enter the military as part of the United States Air Force Academy class of 2009.

Though, slightly less forboding than going out in to the "real world" as I will be in a few short weeks, given the time in my life of each, I think the feelings are incredibly similar.  It's time like these that I start to reflect... and procrastinate.  This week is even similar to the last week in Dublin, Ireland this time last year.  We start counting off our activities as our "Last xyz" where the xyz is something that you would only do there: the last pub crawl, the last business class, the last frat party etc etc.

I am terrified that my list of lasts will miss so many things that I "should" have done while in college.  I didn't have the standard freshman experience, the military had a very different path there.  I didn't live on campus that first year at Boston University.  I didn't have to deal with gang showers (in Boston at least) and I never really frequented the fraternities on Trashford et all.

Following that same thought process but bringing it outside of the social education one gets at college, I'm afraid that I didn't make the most out of the absolute gift of education that my parents have helped make possible for me.  It is not the thought that I didn't do my best or that I took the wrong classes but the worry is more along the lines of whether I took the "right" classes or not.  Did I miss an elective that would have been amazing?  Was there a different professor that would have been better?  Should I have stayed in Engineering and not go to business?

Thinking like this isn't productive.

I have decided that I am happy with where I am right now.  I feel confident in my ability to go out into the workforce and do a great job.  I know that I will succeed.  That said, I cannot stop running the what if's in my head.  What if I didn't go the Air Force Academy?  What if Notre Dame had taken me off their waiting list?  What if I had stayed in Engineering?  What if?

Instead of spending hours working through the what if's of life, I have found that it is best to deal with your actual reality.  What did you actually do?  Why did you do it?  Ok, so you've got you past, your present... where are going now that you know these other two parts?  How are you going to change the world?  With that, I'll leave you with one last piece of pondering:

As we are moving away from wherever has been our homes for the last 3-5+ years at school, we need to define where our home is.  Home is where you go to re-energize, where you go to get in touch with yourself, where you feel at ease.  For me, home is where ever I am.  That is home for me because I need me to recharge, and I don't need sentimental ties to arbitrary locations.

How do YOU know that you're in the right place and that you've made the right decisions?  Is it only with 20/20 hindsight that you know it?

Spring Cleaning and Restarting the Blog

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A blogger I always admired once told me to never apologize for not updating your blog and he was doing very well for himself.  So too, I will not apologize but I will go so far as to say that I have rejuggled my obligations in the internets and this is my sole priority.

It's a wonderful spring here in Boston, MA at Boston University.  Classes are almost out, jobs are being landed, professors are loosening up, and graduation looms on tomorrow's horizon.  Well, not really.  We have 25 days left... that's close enough.  I can almost taste the amazingness of freedom.

Everyone is priming themselves for their next few weeks as we finish school, stumble through senior week, and finally walk across a stage to receive a small piece of paper that validates all of the effort I have exerted for the last four years.  In these few short days, we must finish all of our illustrious classes with famous professors, grit our teeth through the pomp and circumstance that is graduation and finally, move on to bigger and "better" things.

I am one of the lucky ones.  I have a job.  For the last 6 months, I've known that I had a job upon graduation and finally found some information regarding when that new game would begin.  I will be starting with Accenture on the 6th of July, the Monday following the 4th.  I see this becoming an epic weekend.  Along these lines, I am moving out of the coop from the get go.  Some friends and I have an apartment on Beacon St. in Brookline, MA.  I cannot wait to move in with these friends and to begin my life as a professional, a productive member of society.

Funnily enough, I am so excited with bringing my new experiences to the website.  I want to share the new activities and observations to you... if you're still listening out there.  We are all on the brink of something amazing and the die is cast.  Our course is set.  We've been directing our boats for the last four years (or more) and now our course is set.  Basically, that means it's time for autopilot.  It's time to enjoy the moments we get to share with those we love and surround ourselves with.  It is time for celebration.

Please look for jamesconnors.com to bring more and more content directly to you through RSS and the mighty interwebs.  I hope that you enjoy where we go with this and stick around for the ride.  Warm wishes and good health.  Congratulations to all of my classmates in the class of 2009 and thank you to all of the parents that have made this a reality.

My Real Education Is Outside of the Classroom

When describing how to best take advantage of Podcamp Boston 3, Chris Brogan said something to the effect of, "It's not what people are teaching in the classrooms that makes Podcamp special.  Rather, it is what goes on in the hallways, lounges, and small informal gatherings that makes the magic that is Podcamp" (Loosely quoted).

It was soon after podcamp that I started to learn this same principle while interning for the IT consulting firm, Accenture.  We had formal training, workshops, on the job learning and the rest but what made working for them so special was the day to day interactions passing by a coworker's desk.  It was the informal talks at internal networking talks that provided huge value, not the formal reports and speakers.

As I've entered my final year of college, I've brought the lesson of informal gathering, investing in intertactions, and the value of uniting others to my every day life within the University.  It is easier to parse through the lecture notes and find the important chunks.  Focusing in class is far less challenging now that I know what is important.  All the classwork prepares me to work with peers in the hallsways and on teams.  My experience informs my actions in student groups and guides the decision making I use every day.

So what are the next steps?  Here are a couple:

1. Find what drives you - focus on it and develop it.
2. Get extroverted - we all have introverted days but getting outside yourself lets you see the value you have to bring to others and vice versa.
3. Get involved - you can find something that excites you every day that you're alive, I promise!  Find it and follow it.

For me, I have found a new energy investing in the Student Alumni Council at Boston University.  It wasn't until I took a leadership role organizing our members to assist with the University-wide Reunion and Alumni weekend that I actually rediscovered my love for the group.  I do a lot of grunt work but the few hours of networking and the fun pay-offs of meeting new people were more than enough to jumpstart that drive within.  SAC will be a new priority for me in the coming months.

What are you passionate about?  Have you started to find the value in the hallsways and informal gatherings?  What are you favorite conversations to have in the halls of conferences?

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Lessons From a Weekend of Training Cadets

This past weekend, I spent my Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday out in the Blue Hills reservation just south of Boston, MA training the cadets of Boston Cadet Squadron.  These young adults are members of Civil Air Patrol, the volunteer organization that I have been a part of for eight years now.  Our goal for the weekend was to work as a single team while we trained in Emergency Services, survival, and overnight camping.  At least that had been the plan.

I have been instructing these same topics for a number of years now but of late, my lessons have focused on learning through my teaching.  Working with cadets that are from ages 12 to 18, I have found it a challenge for me to properly orient my instruction and leadership style to suit the varied needs of the cadets in our squadron.  Timing can be ironic - I'm currently a teaching assistant and candidate for Teach for America.  This means that I've been working in the "teaching" area for a while now and I am just starting to notice the issues that come along with being a teacher.

There are such varying levels of support needed by our cadets - everything from complete autonomy to complete and total supervision.  There are a few that I would trust to be out in the woods for weeks on end but others that I would prefer to have a physical leash to.  How does one cope with these situations?  How do I change behavior when I don't have the "full" story on cadet conditions, attitudes, and history?  Answer: you do your best and work as a team.

In order to make legitimate change with these cadets, I need to alter behavior.  Through my experience, I have found this to be a difficult task, though not impossible.  The United States Air Force Academy taught me many things about leadership and one of the most powerful tools we experienced was the power of peer accountability.  This is the idea that you are responsible for the actions of your teammate, and they are likewise responsible for yours. 

We are making changes in the way that we work within the group.  I am changing my role within the power structure.  We will go back to basics in order to obtain the correct temperment and attitudes.  We will remove priveledges such as talking, break times, and "fun" activities if need be.  We will provide structured rituals such as current event and news reviews, squaring of corners, and the buddy system.  Finally, we will delegate responsibility to the lowest level possible while enabling those levels to make good decisions.

Hopefully, these changes will create the environment necessary for proper learning to take place, for friendships to form, and leadership to flourish.  My goal for these kids is for them to develop into leaders with a sense of purpose, drive, and self respect that their peers in inner-city Boston do not have.  I want them to be constantly thinking about the group, not just themselves, I want them to work as a team.

If you have suggestions for making this process easier, please email me at james(dot)m(dot)connors(at)gmail(dot)com or leave a comment here for people to share.

[Edit: removed "children" from first paragraph 10.10.08]

Go to Office Hours

It's a lonely place here in the School of Management Starbucks... I'm all alone while waiting for students in my IS323 class to come and pick my brain about their projects.  Let's be honest, they're not coming.  The only team that stopped by today did so when I wasn't even officially having my hour.

Yet here I sit, waiting to make their lives easier, impart knowledge and experience, and maybe -just maybe- make their days a littl ebit brighter.  The SMG Cross Functional CORE Curriculum is a challenging experience for everyone involved but I'm here to make it easier.  The school is literally paying me to help make students' time easier, yet no one is here.  I shouldn't be surprised, people rarely take advantage of this "free" help.

But why?  Why don't students admit that they could benefit from some help and keep me company and learn something.  I promise, I'll even crack a few jokes when you're really feeling down about your homework.  Office hours are your chance to get in touch with students that have gone through and been in your shoes if they are for your Teaching Assistant.  We're not worht THAT much, but what about your professors.

Academia is probably the only place where genious professors, people with high knowledge and value are literally being paid to sit there and talk with you.  It doens't matter what you talk about; the weather, the Red Sox, the financial crisis, or even your *gasp* assignments.  Take advantage of your professors - their time is worth a lot more than you can afford.

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Responsibility, Hazing, and the Lawyer Nation

Since when have we lived in a state where people are so afraid of litigation that we purposefully change our lives (that are well within the rules) just to appease those that stand to sue us?

Today, I experienced for the first time the empty feeling of caving into someone else.  We had traditions, all of them legal and safe, but they must be broken because of the mere threat that an administrator would choose not to like our activities and censure us.

The laws pertaining to hazing in this state are broad, open, and seem to encompass just about anything that one could possibly want to do.  They set forth a few examples of common issues but then throw in a wildcard stating that "any other activity or practice" that harms mentally or physically another person is considered hazing.  Take that a step further.

Boston University is so afraid of litigation that they have taken the wildcard and applied it to all manners of activities from scavenger hunts to dress codes, wearing greek letters to how we term certain things, and everything in between.  It's ludicrous .  Now, on a mere rumor, we are changing our process because of the possibility that it maybe out of line w. their interpretation of the laws/rules etc.

Individuals need to take responsibility for their organizations.  We aren't hurting people, honest.  Our practices do serve a purpose.  We are indeed helping them learn and though we are open to changing, why are you forcing us to because you're afraid of being sued?  Shouldn't the student experience mean something?  Shouldn't the fact that we are preparing our members for the real world be important?

Before you flame me, yes, I understand the issues involved.  Number one - hazing is a VERY touchy subject... no one is contesting that.  However, we are not hazing.  No one is being hurt by our process, no one has complained, no one is distressed or altered.  Number two - Boston University cannot afford litigation and even if not a lawsuit, the bad PR that would stem from the mere alligations of Hazing.

So I leave you with this thought for the evening: When did we become so sensitive to hurt feelings that we are allowing ourselves to compromise our missions and objectives?  Why are we so trigger happy to sue when most issues could be worked out with a mature conversation?

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Learn to Let It Go...

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Maybe it's that time.

How do you know when it is time to let go?  I find this to be one of the hardest things to do in my life.  Whether it be parting ways with that extra snack that you were about to eat, or saying goodbye to a close friend.  Sometimes the RIGHT thing isn't fun or interesting or even popular.

I believe that the way that we make decisions is a direct reflection of who we are as individuals.  So many times in our lives we give into the group, let our "friends" influence our choices, or otherwise forfeit our ability to choose for ourselves and be independent.

I'm making a choice.  I'm letting go.

Maybe it was the crappy weekend that you had.  Perhaps it was a fight you had with a best friend.  Perhaps you were let down by someone that you thought you could trust.  No matter what the issue was, it's time to let go.  Dwelling on the past doesn't bring more insight - just pain... especially when it's a bad memory.

I have made many mistakes in my life, done a lot of things that I wish I could take back.  That said, I am starting to let go.  The United States Air Force Academy was a really hard and sucky place to live.  I decided that the straight up misery I experience wasn't worth the end result (I had decided I didn't want to fly anymore).  So I left.

After leaving, I had to learn how to be a human again - I was a robot.  Cadet James Connors now needed to become a normal person again.  For a long time I hurt and was down about my decision.  I had nightmares about the sucky parts of the Academy, the affects it had on my life and my relationships.  Eventually they started to fade intot he noise.

Now, I only remember the good parts of the Academy.  I have let the bad stuff go.

While in Ireland, I had repeated dreams of going back to USAFA and rejoining.  The visions would leave me restless in the morning because I honestly wish I could go back most of the time.  Then again, most of the time, I don't remember the bad parts.  So it's up to me to remind myself of why I went and why I left.

Everyone has challenging situations and experiences in their lives.  Some of them turn out really well, some totally suck and still other scome out with a mix of both.  Let go of that nasty bits.  They aren't going to help you move forward with you life.  Do yourself and everyone around a favor, let it go.  Just be.  Stop worrying - you can't change it now.

Help Change The Face of Education

 

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Second post for the day - I'm asking for your help.

As part of my time abroad, I am required to do a fair bit of research. I am currently working on a research project looking into a concept known as "student experience" and I need your help. All I'm asking for is that you take 5 minutes to take a very short survey.

URL: Help me with my research

The above URL will bring you to survey monkey where I have put together a 5 minute survey. Please take a few moments to fill it out and help me with my research but also help companies and institutions improve the experience that students, faculty, administrators, and parents have when dealing with the administration. It only takes five minutes or less.

15 Days To Go

I promise that I will write more... I promise, promise, promise.

As the headline says, our program has 15 days remaining before we leave the Emerald Isle for the harsh realities of the United States. I don't mean that to be a negative statement but rather a sobering fact. We've been in a world where a dollar means nothing, where cars run on the wrong side of the road, where it rains every day (almost). Returning to Boston is going to be a shock to our system much the same way arriving in Dublin was - but we're "normal here" (not many of us are actually normal to begin with so... I'm not sure how to put that into thought, sorry).

Our impending departure illicits a whole plethora of emotions, mostly panic. There are a mulitude of things to wrap up here before I can even think about heading home. Our internships have projects that need to be delivered (more on mine in a few), we have a portfolio and research project for BU that no one has even looked at. On top of that, I just don't want to leave. I like the abstract world that we live in. My decisions here don't necessarily have real-world impact. Allow me to unpack that.

First, our grades don't matter. They do, but they don't. Whatever mark that we earn from University College Dublin is then passed through a matrix to yield a conversion to the "American" system. That matrix tells me that a 70% is an A... you tell me if you wouldn't laugh a little bit. Euros are funny money. Long past are the days that we were converting the currency in our minds. Pints are well over $7 USD and just hopping on the bus feels like an investment (over $2.70 each way). On top of all that, I speak differently. It's sloppy, inprecise, and sort of bugs me. I'll say something such as, "Oh, he was acting like a fool, like" and my questions no longer have the proper syllabic emphasis, e.g. questions don't end with your voice being "high" we sort of put it in the middle.

Did I mention that my rambling has gotten worse? That sentence was how many lines long... geez.

The moral of the story is that we're changed but it's as if we're in a playground. Our choices here don't impact our career (in theory). Mostly, I'm thinking of my internship with that thought. I'm using this experience as an opportunity to practice being at a real internship, practice for Accenture and EMC this summer. It's actually really helpful to see what I'll be able to get away with and what won't fly even whenconsidering what the different expectations will hold. I guess it's like I get to expell all the bad habits now... to include blogging while at work (oops).

So now that the kvetching is over, let's talk shop a little bit. I've been living in another culture for so long, I sometimes forget that all of you are sort of watching this game from the bleechers. I love Ireland. Despite the ups and downs in my personal life and the various other concerns that have come up, this semester will go down in my Wikipedia page as one of the best experiences ever. I am eternally grateful to my parents, Paul, Laura, and Brian, for their unending support, latenight phonecalls (my time, not theirs) - I could not have been here in Dublin without their support.

By the way, remember that melodramatic post a while ago about needing to find that "BIG" answer... some sort of wholistic change?  Well I found it.  Let me tell you a secret - it was with me the whole time.  Basically, I got a dose of reality - some would call it a good smattering of perspective.  Not only have I finally grown to see my parents as good friends instead of those people that try to embarrass me all the time, but I've found myself.  I've found the internal value in myself that doesn't require external validation for me to know that I'm me and that's really ok.

While my world no longer plays like a Las Vegas slot machine, I can tell there are going to be many, many new adventures to be had and all I have to do is be patient for them.  Hopefully you all will be a part of that with me.  I intend to quintuple efforts for this blog between now and my return.  There will be a few post-return entries that will hopefully have some interesting stories.  Then I'll be archiving these posts into my other blog, http://www.jamesmconnors.com under their own tags so they don't disappear when the jamesindublin domain expires.  Thank you for stopping by - I hope to see you next time!

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Studying Early Is Not Fun

Surprise, surprise - James is having a hard time studying for these exams.  I hate studying.  I really dislike the way that classes are taught and here's why. Our educational system is built to reward small impulses of work.  What I mean is that tests measure a student's performance on one day; papers measure how well a student can prepare less than a day's work; cold calls measures a student's ability to scan the text before class.  How can educators figure out a way to constantly assess a student's true knowledge and understanding?  I don't have an answer to that.

I know that some may say that rewarding knowledge will then disenfranchise those that aren't as "smart" as another.  I dissagree.  I'm not a smart person in so much as that I can't just walk into tests and beat them.  I have struggled and toiled for every grade that I've received ever since middle school.  There has never been a subject that I could simply do well in without a lot of work.  This tells me that someone can build knoweldge through hard work.

If we reward knowledge, as a society, then we maintain the balance of rewards as they stand today: some people would still be able to get by with less work than others.  However, the shift would change society in a positive way.  By rewarding knowledge, our culture would have the opportunity to have a larger mean knowledge compared to today.  The benfits of this are far reaching and go well beyond my ability to ponder amid exams.  But think, what would our world be like if we cared more about knowledge than grades? Or if grades measured knowledge and not temporary recall.

All this was a bit of procrastination on my part but I think it has value.  What do you think?  Do you think that our system and society would be better served if knowledge were rewarded rather than tests etc?

An Essay on the Value of a Degree

I wanted to throw a link up to send you all over to my www.jamesmconnors.com blog to check out the latest post.  It is a short essay about the value of Irish educational systems in comparison to American systems.  You can find the article at http://www.jamesmconnors.com/pontification/irish-education-or-american-you-decide. In other news, I've posted up more photos to the Ireland photo set at www.flickr.com/photos/nalgene1080 please take a minute to look through them when you can.  I'll be tagging and describing them in the near future.

Irish Education or American, You Decide

This semester, I have been studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland through the Boston University Dublin Management Internship program.  Unlike many of the other BU abroad programs, we directly enroll in a host institution rather than taking classes at a Boston University student center.  This means we are taking the actual Irish classes along with Irish students as they work towards their degrees.  This interaction and firsthand experience has allowed me to gain an interesting perspective on differing educational systems. Here at the University College Dublin Quinn School of Management, the curriculum, course requirements, and credit hours are very different for equivalent degrees in the United States.  There are a number of reasons that I think the educational environment is different here.  First, students do not pay for their school tuition, the government does.  As much as it is elitist to say, I think this may contribute to student buy-in as far as the educational process goes.  Since they have no financial responsibility, as compared to US students, students may not take classes as seriously as they might otherwise if there was a financial stake in their coursework.

Second, many Irish students have a three year program to earn their Bachelor's Degree as compared to the American four year system.  When looking at the curriculums, the Irish spend their entire university career in the college of their major taking courses that relate directly to that major.  There are not the same sorts of "general education" or "elective" course requirements as we have at Boston University.  It seems that by reducing the course load of outside classes, Irish curriculums are able to graduate students a year faster than most American colleges.  I wonder whether this has an effect on the work place and hirability.  One might question maturity and experience given students are hired into firms for full time work at the age of twenty-one rather than our traditional twenty-two.

Finally, the Irish curriculum and teaching style that we are experiencing is very different from that which we are used to at Boston University.  Classes are almost exclusively lecture style with little to no classroom participation and minimal feedback.  The instructor will generally talk about notes they have prepared in a PowerPoint presentation or an Adobe PDF that then displays on a projector.  Classes tend to be about three hours long with a break in the middle and meet once a week.  In contrast, the longest class I had experienced prior to UCD was two hours, met twice a week, and was VERY interactive.  Even our large lecture style courses tended to interact either by cold-call, interactive clickers, or other real-time feedback.

I have not yet formed my opinion about what system is "better" since I have not really gone out and experienced what it is like to work alongside these students.  In a little over a week, I will be starting an internship in downtown Dublin where, among other goals, I hope to experience firsthand what it is to work in Ireland.  I personally prefer the BU system and curriculum because it works better for me, or perhaps because I have grown up with it, so to speak.

What do you think?  Does the Irish system of education sound better to you?  Is it more fun?  If you were a hiring manager, who would you rather hire?  Post a comment or drop a line to james.m.connors [dot] gmail [dot] com and let the community know what you think.